Ever wonder if your body is out to kill you?

Hello, hello. Don't mind me, this entry will probably just be a string of complaints and other not-so-fun to read things. I figure that's what blogs are for, eh? Sometimes you might feel crappy for no reason at all. And since I'm such a wonderful nice person (heh, right), I'll just vent here and save all the other ppl I'll be talking with the problem.

today didn't start off too badly. I got up too early (had the laundry done by about ten am) and did some stuff. I also watched some stupid gory movie for my L&S class. It was when I got back that things started getting worse. For some reason my stomach is intent on killing me. And it's not even agonizing or anything, just that annoying constant pain that makes you feel tired and cranky and snippish. And I am snippish. I haven't been in a mood this bad since...well, since a long time ago. Sleep deprivation does that to me. Sleep dep combined with annoying headache and stomachache and neckache from hell makes me worse. Ever wanna just curl up and die? Well, I want to curl up and die but if that's not possible, then I'd like to punch someone. Since that's not possible either, I think I'll just keep ranting, and try to not throw up.

Taking a nap helped, but getting up seemed to have made it worse. I wonder if that's gonna be a good excuse to not go to school tomorrow, but then again, this IS college. Maybe this is just pre-Finals stress. Yes, finals are coming up. I HATE finals. I despise finals. Then again, I hate a lot of things when I'm in this mood. Ugh, maybe I can go write something evil. Nope...fingers too cold. And my neck hurts. Wish I had someone who knows how to do the message, it always sound like it feels so good.

And the problem is, I can't really make myself be that nasty to vent. I think one of the RPers did that last night, and I remember being kinda confused and hurt by it (she got really mad and accused us of not listening to her when she said she had to go soon. All we did was try to ask her in what way she'd like to have her chara temporarily leave the story) so I know I wouldn't do it to anyone else, even if I did feel crappy. Cuz that's just not me. Maybe I have TOO much consideration for others, but unlike some people, I do notice that ppl don't like getting their feelings stepped on. I doubt it'd make me feel better for long anyway. Me and my stupid guilt complex. Grr....

I really want to go home. Get peace and quiet. Eat mom's cooking. Heck, I'll even put up w/ my bro annoying me. He doesn't seem so bad now, as compared to when we were younger. I guess that's a plus, cuz I'd hate to be w/ my bro if he's forever acting like a seven year old.

Ugh, I think I feel a bit better, emotionally if not physically. Looking at the sandwhich still makes me want to puke though, so I think I'll hold off eating it until tomorrow or something. I hope it won't be bad by then....

I think I'll go back to bed now. Though whether or not I'll be able to is still up in the air, seeing as how someone on my floor appearantly thinks it's okay to play soccer indoors, in the hall. Gods, I wish people would grow up. I really do. Usually I'm okay with dorm life, but occasionally I just want OUT. Out out out out out. I'm starting to hate this place. Either that, or it's the bad mood talking again.

K, signing off now...I'll probably be all genki again tomorrow, let's hope so cuz that means those stupid aches are gone. *crosses fingers*

Majo-the-Cranky